Dearest Suzie

Episode 091: 1965-05-15 | Popi’s Souvenir Rifle

May 15th, 2025  |  10 mins 48 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes on a rare day off, reflecting on a grueling two-day operation that left over 200 Viet Cong reported dead. It’s May 15, 1965, and though the battle is over, the war lingers—in photographs, memories, and a souvenir rifle he brings back from the field. Popi casually mentions photographing the aftermath and recovering a weapon used against them. Beneath his steady tone, the emotional weight of what he’s seen and done begins to surface. He also shares small victories—like nearly two weeks without smoking—and thoughtful updates about family gifts, food rations, and his hopes of sending Charlie the dog home soon.

This letter prompts a deeper reflection on two powerful artifacts from Popi’s service: a graphic black-and-white battlefield photograph and the Soviet-made Mosin-Nagant rifle he brought home as a war souvenir. Today’s commentary explores both—the photo’s haunting presence in the family archive and the rifle’s Cold War legacy. Used by the VC and NVA, the Mosin-Nagant reminds us how older, simple weapons remained lethally effective in the hands of guerrilla fighters.

Episode 090: 1965-05-13 | Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil Pt. 4

May 13th, 2025  |  9 mins 53 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes after an exhausting day—17 hours of flying, including a major operation that left 125 Viet Cong reported killed and one American wounded. It’s May 13, 1965, and his fatigue seeps into every word of the letter. Despite being overwhelmed, he takes time to connect: recounting a chance meeting with Captain Hodgson in Soc Trang, commenting on gifts sent and received, and reflecting on small moments of frustration and care from back home. The war may be escalating, but his focus is still on Suzie, their children, and the rhythm of ordinary life.

Alongside the letter, we continue with part four of Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil—a deeply personal and sobering narrative about the cascading failures of Florida’s child welfare system. Today’s installment centers on Kid 2, the girl Tim and Lisa tried hardest to help. From struggles with bedwetting and depression to repeated involuntary psychiatric holds under Florida’s Baker Act, her story reveals the deep trauma that cycles through families and institutions alike. As state-run systems fail to provide meaningful care, the episode highlights the limits of well-meaning foster families and the immense emotional toll that caregiving takes when public structures are fractured at the root.

Episode 089: 1965-05-11 | Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil Pt. 3

May 11th, 2025  |  9 mins 23 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes from an unusually quiet night in Vinh Long. It’s May 11, 1965, and for once, he’s alone on base. While the rest of his unit is off at Ben Hoa responding to an attack that left five Americans dead, Popi remains behind after a supply run to Saigon, teaching new pilots and preparing for a farewell party. The tone is calm, even domestic—he talks about gifts sent, letters received, and his pride in helping a new pilot pass his check ride. But the wider context of the war creeps in as he casually mentions the day's casualties and an increasingly active Viet Cong, reminding us how quickly things can shift in Vietnam.

Alongside the letter, we continue with part three of Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil, a personal narrative that examines the collapse of a family’s stability and the deep flaws in Florida’s child welfare system. Today’s installment focuses on the children’s fathers—each one gone, deadbeat, or deeply troubled—and the profound impact their absence has on the kids now scattered across foster homes and group facilities. With each twist, the story reveals a painful intersection between systemic failure and personal trauma, offering a sobering look at how broken lives are often passed down, compounded by bureaucracy, poverty, and neglect.

An Interview with Suzie

May 10th, 2025  |  1 hr 2 mins

1960s america, addiction and family, american families, american memory, archival preservation, army wife, asbestos industry, base life, catholic upbringing, childhood in the 1950s, culture shock, dearest suzie, ethnographic interview, family interview, family legacy, family resilience, family storytelling, fort benning, fort bragg, fort ord, fort rucker, generational struggles, grandmother interview, helicopter pilot family, historical memory, historical podcast, hungarian american, inherit the stories, intergenerational trauma, legacy projects, love and loss, manville new jersey, marriage and war, memory and myth, mental health history, mental illness stigma, military deployment, military family, military spouse, munich germany, oral history, personal history, postwar america, ptsd, public anthropology, raising kids alone, remembering the past, sanford florida, shock therapy, small town america, southeast us history, southern and northern cultures, veteran family, veteran reflections, vietnam letters, vietnam war, war at home, women in war, working class families

In this special episode of Dearest Suzie, we step away from the battlefield and into the memory, voice, and wisdom of the woman who saved the letters. Recorded over Zoom, this episode features a heartfelt conversation with my grandmother, Susan “Mema” Lowie, about her life before, during, and after the Vietnam War. It’s a deeply personal portrait of a woman whose love, strength, and honesty made this entire project possible.

Mema talks candidly about her childhood in Manville, New Jersey, her parents’ struggles with mental illness and alcoholism, and her early marriage to Bill “Popi” Lowie. Together we revisit the places they lived—Fort Bragg, Fort Ord, Munich—and the years she raised three young boys while Popi flew missions in Vietnam. We talk about memory, marriage, the lingering cost of war, and what it means to tell the truth, even when it hurts.

This interview is about the things we inherit that aren't always written down: silence, resilience, pain, and love.

Episode 088: 1965-05-08 | Showing Off

May 8th, 2025  |  7 mins 52 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes from Vietnam with a mix of weariness, routine, and yearning. It’s May 8, 1965, and while most of his day is spent giving instrument instruction and catching up with familiar faces over lunch, the heart of the letter lies in a quiet reflection about home. Suzie is planning a summer trip with the boys, and Popi wishes he could be there to go with them — not to stop them, but to be part of the picture. To show off the boys. And to show off himself, just a little.

It’s a touching moment of vulnerability and pride, the kind that many soldiers tucked into letters during wartime. For Popi, returning home isn’t just about leaving the war behind, it’s about stepping back into a world where he’s more than a pilot or a platoon officer. He’s a dad. A husband. A man with stories, scars, and medals who still wants to feel like he belongs in a normal, peaceful life.

Throughout the letter, he also touches on practical matters, insurance payments, gifts for the kids, the possibility of shirts instead of jackets, and checks in on friends and family who haven’t written back. But the emotional center is clear: he misses his family deeply and longs for the simple joy of being together again, proud and whole.

Episode 087: 1965-05-07 | Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil Pt. 2

May 7th, 2025  |  8 mins 54 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In today’s episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes during a quiet afternoon, though the tone is edged with tension. The Viet Cong have been growing more active, and six helicopters from his platoon were damaged in a recent attack, yet thankfully, no one was hurt. Between missions and radio static, he’s listening to “Country Corner” on AFN and teasing Suzie about her clumsy bleach mishap. As always, the letter ends with love, longing, and a kiss saved just for her.

But much of today’s episode focuses on the second installment of "Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil," a deeply personal narrative outside of Vietnam, told across several episodes this month. This part of the story picks up with Jessica, a woman struggling with mental illness, addiction, and motherhood. When tragedy forces her chaotic home life into the care of extended family, we witness how well-meaning relatives like Tim and Lisa face impossible decisions during the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s a story about family, survival, and the limits of love, told with empathy, complexity, and unflinching honesty.

Episode 086: 1965-05-05 | Finding Popi’s Camera

May 5th, 2025  |  10 mins 27 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, we hear from Popi as the rainy season begins in Vinh Long. His letter is calm, full of updates from a quiet day — a trip to the range, a short note about mailing gifts, and a few thoughts on the Hong Kong R&R he’s decided not to take. The real excitement in today’s letter, though, comes when he casually mentions picking up something new for himself: a camera. It might not seem like much at first. But for this podcast, for this project, that camera is a big deal.

In today’s episode, I tell the story of how I tracked down Popi’s original camera model. What began with a grainy black-and-white photo and a dead end at the family’s digital point-and-shoot eventually turned into a multi-month search through online forums, PX catalog archives, and military issue equipment lists, all of it in pursuit of a single, tangible object: the same kind of camera Popi once held in his hands while serving in Vietnam.

Thanks to a bit of luck (and a surprisingly helpful conversation with ChatGPT), I finally identified it as a Petri 7s, a compact 35mm rangefinder camera from the early 1960s. In this episode, I break down what made the Petri 7s so popular and why it was the perfect tool for a soldier who wanted to capture moments in between missions.

Episode 085: 1965-05-04 | Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil Pt. 1

May 4th, 2025  |  8 mins 47 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, we hear from Popi on May 4, 1965, as he responds to three letters from Suzie and shares how much he loved the photos of the boys. There’s no mission report today, no combat update — just a quiet letter about family, missed birthdays, and the difficulty of shopping for gifts in a place where anything nice has to be specially made. He’s still hoping for new photos of Brett and Suzie, still counting down the months, and still trying to be a thoughtful husband and father from a world away.

But today’s episode is different.

With little to comment on in the letter, I begin the first installment of a personal essay I wrote, titled "Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil." Across the quieter days this month, I’ll be sharing pieces of it — a true story about class, mental illness, intergenerational trauma, and the complicated ties that hold people together. It begins at an upscale restaurant in suburban Florida, during the birthday dinner of a woman named Mary — a second-generation American grandmother with deep family roots and a life shaped by both love and regret. Her request? That I write to Dr. Phil on behalf of her granddaughter. What follows is the beginning of that request, and the family history behind it.

Episode 084: 1965-05-02 | Navy Bombers

May 2nd, 2025  |  6 mins 40 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes from a quiet day in the air, flying support for a Navy bombing run. From his Huey, he watches jets drop 500-pound bombs across the landscape — a moment that sparks reflection on the uneasy collaboration between different branches of the U.S. military during the Vietnam War.

While Popi’s experience might seem routine, his letter reveals the layered complexity of joint operations, where Army gunships like his flew beneath Navy aircraft like the A-1 Skyraider or A-6 Intruder, all while navigating different chains of command. These overlapping strategies didn’t always align, and Popi’s story reminds us how ordinary soldiers had to adapt to a constantly shifting, often siloed war effort.

All Episodes, April 1965

May 1st, 2025  |  1 hr 20 mins

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this special episode of Dearest Suzie, we look back on the April 1965 letters from Bill Lowie—a month defined by loss, guilt, long stretches of boredom, and small moments of unexpected joy. Now firmly settled into his new role with the Cobras, Popi spent April flying missions that ranged from uneventful to harrowing, often with little warning as to which kind the day would bring.

Early in the month, Popi wrote about grieving the death of fellow pilots and struggling to make sense of a war that never quite felt like it was being won. By the end of the month, he was writing through tears, haunted by a mission gone wrong that left two close friends dead—one of them killed while following Popi’s request for help. In what is perhaps the most heartbreaking letter of the series so far, Popi admits to feeling responsible and writes to Suzie not as a husband reporting home, but as a man unburdening his conscience.

But April wasn’t only sorrow. It also brought new photos, monkeys learning to swim, plans for R&R in Hong Kong, and a custom Italian silk suit. He received the Vietnamese Cross of Gallantry and mailed home a short-timer’s calendar counting down the days until his return. April is the month the war starts to feel heavy. Not just dangerous, but exhausting. It’s the month Popi’s steady voice begins to crack—not because he’s weak, but because he’s still human.