Dearest Suzie

Episode 054: 1965-03-01 | Boredom Worse Than Fear

March 1st, 2025  |  6 mins 26 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill Lowie writes to Suzie on March 1, 1965, sharing quiet days, family updates, and—almost as an afterthought—his decision to transfer to the armed platoon, trading troop transport missions for combat operations.

Accompanied by a striking photo of a helicopter bearing the mark of the Cobras, today's episode explores Bill’s choice to put himself in greater danger, reflecting on what it reveals about fear, boredom, and agency in war.

All Episodes, February 1965

February 28th, 2025  |  1 hr 19 mins

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this special episode of Dearest Suzie, we look back on the February 1965 letters from Bill Lowie, a month marked by financial strain, family tensions, and the harsh realities of war. From poker losses and promotion party expenses to evacuating wounded civilians after a Viet Cong mortar attack, Bill’s words reveal the delicate balance between duty, personal responsibility, and the emotional toll of combat.

Even in the midst of hardship, his letters remain tethered to home—filled with love, concern, and a longing for normalcy. Whether navigating money troubles, frustrations with family back home, or the heartbreak of seeing innocent lives shattered by war, Bill’s words bring us closer to his experience, 60 years later.

Episode 053: 1965-02-27 | Poker and Paychecks

February 27th, 2025  |  6 mins 46 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi grapples with the financial strains of war, admitting to a poker loss and an obligatory promotion party expense that leaves him unable to send his paycheck home. His frustration is evident—not just with himself, but with a family dispute over a car that threatens to become another burden.

But the weight of money troubles pales in comparison to the devastating scenes he witnesses firsthand. Tasked with evacuating civilians after a Viet Cong mortar attack, Popi describes an elderly man, wounded in both legs, forced to walk barefoot with only a young girl to help him. A small boy, about the size of his own son, suffers a grievous injury, bringing Popi to tears. In these moments, the war becomes deeply personal.

Episode 052: 1965-02-24 | Never A Dull Moment

February 24th, 2025  |  5 mins 19 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes home about the long-awaited arrival of Suzie’s ring, his newly earned air medals, and the ever-present dangers surrounding his unit. He jokes about Suzie forgetting to congratulate him on making chief, but his letter also carries the weight of war—mentioning an outpost overrun just miles away.

Accompanied by a photograph of soldiers gathered around a helicopter, today’s episode explores the duality of Popi’s life: the lighthearted teasing of a husband writing to his wife and the grim reality of constant danger in Vietnam.

Episode 051: 1965-02-22 | Counting Days

February 22nd, 2025  |  7 mins 20 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill Lowie writes home about the growing pressures of war, from sleepless nights under mortar fire to a troop-lift mission that left two aircraft shot up. Amidst the tension, he finds small comforts in letters from home, a reminder of the life waiting for him beyond Vietnam.

Accompanied by a blurred, dreamlike photo of an early morning troop lift, today’s episode is a reflection on inheritance—both tangible and intangible. As I prepare for my own wedding day, I consider the ways my grandfather’s experiences, personality, and struggles have shaped my own.

Episode 050: 1965-02-20 | Escaping the Saigon Coup

February 20th, 2025  |  9 mins 28 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi grapples with the aftermath of a helicopter crash that shakes his confidence as a pilot. Writing to Suzie, he admits, “I was so stunned for a while I couldn’t figure out what happened.” With over 1,100 flight hours under his belt, the incident forces him to question his abilities and step back from his Instructor Pilot role.

Meanwhile, a routine trip to Saigon for a physical turns into a brush with political chaos as an attempted coup unfolds. Bill describes tanks and armed troops scattered across the airfield, blocking Vietnamese planes while letting Americans take off—just moments before the entire airport is shut down. His account captures both the unpredictability of war and the eerie sense of detachment that comes with living through constant upheaval.

Episode 049: 1965-02-18 | Crash Landing

February 18th, 2025  |  6 mins 27 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes about what he calls “the blackest day of my life.” While practicing autorotations—a critical emergency maneuver—his helicopter crashes, leaving him shaken and questioning his future as an Instructor Pilot. Though he and his platoon leader survive, the accident weighs heavily on him, not just as a dangerous moment but as a blow to his confidence and identity as a pilot.

This letter stands apart from the rest. We’ve seen Bill write about exhaustion, stress, and even fear, but here, his words carry something deeper—self-doubt. He fears this crash may cost him his role as an instructor, and for the first time, his usual steady tone falters. His letter is brief, lacking his usual updates, as if he struggles to find the words. Most telling of all is his closing: “I love you very much and I need you especially right now.” It’s raw and vulnerable, showing just how deeply this moment affected him.

Episode 048: 1965-02-16 | The War In Print

February 16th, 2025  |  5 mins 48 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill reflects on how the war is being portrayed back home, mentioning that his unit might be featured in the Orlando Sentinel and that an upcoming awards ceremony could be covered as well. He describes how their commanding officer made “a big production” out of their orders, complete with pictures and press coverage. While Bill’s letters often reveal the strain of isolation and the monotony of life on base, the version of the war presented in newspapers was far more polished—highlighting commendations and achievements rather than the daily hardships of soldiers on the ground.

Bill also shares his growing frustration with being stuck on the compound for weeks, saying the walls are “closing in” on him. Even though town is no longer off-limits, he’s still too uneasy to go. His words capture the contrast between how the war felt to those living it and how it was packaged for those watching from home.

Accompanied by a rare glimpse into the daily life of soldiers off the battlefield, today’s featured photo shows two Vietnamese women washing clothes outside a base, with sandbags stacked behind them and shirts drying on a line above. These women, hired to do laundry for the soldiers, represent the complex and often unseen interactions between troops and local civilians. Were they just trying to make a living, or were they passing information to the Viet Cong? The war’s uncertainties stretched beyond combat, shaping even the most routine moments of daily life.

Episode 047: 1965-02-14 | A Quiet Promotion

February 14th, 2025  |  6 mins 48 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill shares news of his upcoming promotion—but his reaction is telling. He isn’t concerned with the ceremony or recognition, just the extra $40 a month and the new title of “Chief.” Like many warrant officers, he saw promotions as more of a bureaucratic formality than a milestone, focused more on the practical benefits than the prestige.

He also writes about the constant state of alert, the toll of restrictions, and the isolation of life on base. While he jokes about his growing collection of air medals, his real focus remains on home—Valentine’s cards from Suzie and the boys, gifts sent to family, and the small connections that keep him tethered to normalcy.

Episode 046: 1965-02-11 | The Trouble At Sóc Trăng

February 11th, 2025  |  6 mins 21 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill writes home about the restrictions placed on his unit, the ongoing tension of 30-minute alerts, and the attack on Sóc Trăng. His letter reflects the strain of waiting for the inevitable, the frustration of being cut off from town, and the small joys of receiving Valentine’s cards from home. He also shares news of his long-awaited promotion—one that brings more responsibility, a new title, and a modest pay raise, but little excitement.

Through his words, we get a glimpse into the daily struggles of soldiers in Vietnam—how they coped with uncertainty, leaned on routine, and found comfort in small connections to home.

Finding My Grief | Full Piece

February 10th, 2025  |  32 mins 1 sec

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this special compilation episode of Dearest Suzie, we present the full Finding My Grief series—an intimate exploration of loss, memory, and connection to my grandfather. Across these episodes, I reflect on what it means to inherit a loved one’s things, to uncover pieces of their past, and to navigate the complex emotions that come with preserving their story.

Through the things in my grandparent's trailer, we witness not just the realities of war but also the deeply personal struggles of distance, longing, and responsibility. As I piece together his experiences, I also confront my own grief—learning how history, family, and personal loss intertwine.

Episode 045: 1965-02-09 | Finding My Grief, Finale

February 9th, 2025  |  8 mins 58 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill writes home about the latest attacks in Vietnam, including a strike on Soc Trang and an outpost dangerously close to his own base. His letter reveals the growing tension among the men—watching the firefight from their helicopters, waiting for their turn to be hit. He speaks of fear, exhaustion, and frustration, but also of love—sending thoughts of home, responding to Suzie’s requests, and pushing back against the idea that they need anything more in common than their family.

This episode also concludes Finding My Grief, a deeply personal reflection on loss, memory, and coming to understand the complexities of Popi’s life. Through stories shared by Mema and the objects left behind, the journey of reckoning with grief comes full circle, offering closure and a path toward healing.

Episode 044: 1965-02-07 | Panic From Pleiku

February 7th, 2025  |  6 mins 27 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill Lowie writes home with the weight of war on his shoulders. The Viet Cong attack on Pleiku has shaken his unit, leaving them anxiously waiting for casualty reports and wondering if they’ll be next. His words—“It is hopeless”—capture the frustration and exhaustion of soldiers caught in an escalating conflict.

Accompanied by a photo of Charlie, the mischievous base mascot, today’s episode explores the impact of the Pleiku attack, the growing sense of futility among troops, and the small comforts that kept them going.

Episode 043: 1965-02-06 | Finding My Grief Pt. 6

February 6th, 2025  |  8 mins 26 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes to Suzie about financial concerns, a possible trip to Bangkok, and his efforts to send money home despite unexpected expenses. He reassures her that they are managing and reminds her not to stress about savings while they are apart. His letter, unfinished due to a missing page, leaves lingering questions about his thoughts in that moment.

Accompanied by a photo from Hawaii, today’s episode explores not only Popi’s plans but also reflections on his return from war, his struggles with vulnerability, and the impact of his service on his family.

Episode 042: 1965-02-05 | Finding My Grief Pt. 5

February 5th, 2025  |  9 mins 41 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill sends a short letter home, enclosing their income tax return and expressing how much he misses his family. Meanwhile, the next part of Finding My Grief delves into the ways Popi treated each of his sons differently—and how those differences shaped their lives.

Accompanied by a striking aerial photo of Bien Hoa after a Viet Cong attack, today’s episode explores family dynamics, resilience, and the lasting effects of parental expectations.

Episode 041: 1965-02-04 | Finding My Grief Pt. 4

February 4th, 2025  |  7 mins 37 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill Lowie writes home during a rare lull in missions due to the unofficial truce for the Vietnamese New Year. He shares updates about his instrument flight renewal, receiving his first air medal, and his anticipation of transitioning to the armed platoon. His letters reflect both exhaustion and the relentless passage of time as he counts down the days until his return home.

Accompanied by a photograph of American soldiers standing at ease in the Boulevard of the State Flags in Vinh Long—possibly an award ceremony—today’s episode also continues Finding My Grief, exploring Popi’s early years, his decision to join the Army, and Mema’s stories of their life together.