Dearest Suzie

Episode 094: 1965-05-20 | Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil, Finale

May 20th, 2025  |  8 mins 22 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes from Vinh Long on May 20 after a rare slow day, sharing simple pleasures and family pride. He compliments Billy’s school paper, jokes about toddler haircuts, and eagerly awaits new photos from home. With little news from the field beyond a trip to the range and an upcoming U.S.O. show, Popi admits there’s not much to write—but in that quiet, you can hear the subtle ache of distance, the strain of trying to stay connected with the ordinary world while surrounded by war. His closing remarks are soft, familiar, and full of longing: "I love you all very much and miss you same as always."

This episode also marks the final installment of Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil. In today’s conclusion, Mary and the family’s frustrations reach a boiling point. As the state continues to offer no solutions, they begin looking beyond institutions—to charismatic outsiders and unlikely saviors. Mary’s faith in Dr. Phil becomes a symbol of desperation and parasocial trust, a last-ditch hope that someone—anyone—might care enough to intervene. The story grapples with Strongman fantasies, media exploitation, and what it means when a system fails so completely that even questionable public figures feel like lifelines. In the end, the narrator steps away from the table, but the weight of the family's pain lingers long after the fish is cleared.

Episode 093: 1965-05-18 | A Quagmire on the Horizon

May 18th, 2025  |  5 mins 51 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes on May 18, sharing a quiet day in Vinh Long marked by a short operation and a long-awaited letter from home. His tone is warm and affectionate, filled with light updates about insurance policies, family visits, and his role as an instrument instructor. Though officially recognized by the Army as an aircraft instructor, he jokes about being “scared to death” of autorotations. It’s a letter that captures the slow tick of time during deployment—no new orders yet, just steady anticipation and the emotional labor of staying connected across distance.

While Popi reflects on training, checks, and missing mail, the world around him is shifting. In May 1965, President Johnson temporarily paused Operation Rolling Thunder in hopes of bringing North Vietnam to the negotiating table. But behind the scenes, diplomatic efforts were unraveling, and military escalation was quietly accelerating. In China, Ho Chi Minh secured support from Mao Zedong—with conditions—and by the end of the month, tens of thousands of Chinese personnel were quietly assisting in the North. Meanwhile, in Washington, a now-famous warning appeared in a memo: if the U.S. went further into Vietnam, it risked stepping into a “quagmire.” That word would echo across decades of history, but in Popi’s letter, the future still feels uncertain and unwritten.

Episode 092: 1965-05-17 | Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil Pt. 5

May 17th, 2025  |  9 mins 21 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes on a much-needed break after several intense flying days. He’s still receiving letters from home and sends updates about camera gear, anniversary gifts, and the lack of desire to ever extend his tour in Vietnam—"not for all the tea in China," as he puts it. Between updates about taxes, slide projectors, and tailoring concerns, he’s clearly trying to hold onto whatever sense of normalcy he can. His tone is light and even playful, but his remark about potential forced extensions quietly nods to the mounting uncertainty of war.

This episode also continues our serialized story, Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil, with Part 5. Today’s section explores the crushing inertia families face when caught in the gears of broken institutions. Despite their best efforts, Tim and Lisa find themselves powerless as Florida’s foster care and child welfare systems shuffle court dates, misplace caseworkers, and leave the most vulnerable children adrift. Kid 1 and Kid 2 struggle deeply, their dreams colliding with harsh realities, while Mary clings to hope in the only way she knows how—by asking for help from Dr. Phil. The story touches on parasocial trust, moral optimism, and the desire to believe someone out there can fix what the state refuses to.

Episode 091: 1965-05-15 | Popi’s Souvenir Rifle

May 15th, 2025  |  10 mins 48 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes on a rare day off, reflecting on a grueling two-day operation that left over 200 Viet Cong reported dead. It’s May 15, 1965, and though the battle is over, the war lingers—in photographs, memories, and a souvenir rifle he brings back from the field. Popi casually mentions photographing the aftermath and recovering a weapon used against them. Beneath his steady tone, the emotional weight of what he’s seen and done begins to surface. He also shares small victories—like nearly two weeks without smoking—and thoughtful updates about family gifts, food rations, and his hopes of sending Charlie the dog home soon.

This letter prompts a deeper reflection on two powerful artifacts from Popi’s service: a graphic black-and-white battlefield photograph and the Soviet-made Mosin-Nagant rifle he brought home as a war souvenir. Today’s commentary explores both—the photo’s haunting presence in the family archive and the rifle’s Cold War legacy. Used by the VC and NVA, the Mosin-Nagant reminds us how older, simple weapons remained lethally effective in the hands of guerrilla fighters.

Episode 090: 1965-05-13 | Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil Pt. 4

May 13th, 2025  |  9 mins 53 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes after an exhausting day—17 hours of flying, including a major operation that left 125 Viet Cong reported killed and one American wounded. It’s May 13, 1965, and his fatigue seeps into every word of the letter. Despite being overwhelmed, he takes time to connect: recounting a chance meeting with Captain Hodgson in Soc Trang, commenting on gifts sent and received, and reflecting on small moments of frustration and care from back home. The war may be escalating, but his focus is still on Suzie, their children, and the rhythm of ordinary life.

Alongside the letter, we continue with part four of Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil—a deeply personal and sobering narrative about the cascading failures of Florida’s child welfare system. Today’s installment centers on Kid 2, the girl Tim and Lisa tried hardest to help. From struggles with bedwetting and depression to repeated involuntary psychiatric holds under Florida’s Baker Act, her story reveals the deep trauma that cycles through families and institutions alike. As state-run systems fail to provide meaningful care, the episode highlights the limits of well-meaning foster families and the immense emotional toll that caregiving takes when public structures are fractured at the root.

Episode 089: 1965-05-11 | Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil Pt. 3

May 11th, 2025  |  9 mins 23 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes from an unusually quiet night in Vinh Long. It’s May 11, 1965, and for once, he’s alone on base. While the rest of his unit is off at Ben Hoa responding to an attack that left five Americans dead, Popi remains behind after a supply run to Saigon, teaching new pilots and preparing for a farewell party. The tone is calm, even domestic—he talks about gifts sent, letters received, and his pride in helping a new pilot pass his check ride. But the wider context of the war creeps in as he casually mentions the day's casualties and an increasingly active Viet Cong, reminding us how quickly things can shift in Vietnam.

Alongside the letter, we continue with part three of Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil, a personal narrative that examines the collapse of a family’s stability and the deep flaws in Florida’s child welfare system. Today’s installment focuses on the children’s fathers—each one gone, deadbeat, or deeply troubled—and the profound impact their absence has on the kids now scattered across foster homes and group facilities. With each twist, the story reveals a painful intersection between systemic failure and personal trauma, offering a sobering look at how broken lives are often passed down, compounded by bureaucracy, poverty, and neglect.

Episode 088: 1965-05-08 | Showing Off

May 8th, 2025  |  7 mins 52 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes from Vietnam with a mix of weariness, routine, and yearning. It’s May 8, 1965, and while most of his day is spent giving instrument instruction and catching up with familiar faces over lunch, the heart of the letter lies in a quiet reflection about home. Suzie is planning a summer trip with the boys, and Popi wishes he could be there to go with them — not to stop them, but to be part of the picture. To show off the boys. And to show off himself, just a little.

It’s a touching moment of vulnerability and pride, the kind that many soldiers tucked into letters during wartime. For Popi, returning home isn’t just about leaving the war behind, it’s about stepping back into a world where he’s more than a pilot or a platoon officer. He’s a dad. A husband. A man with stories, scars, and medals who still wants to feel like he belongs in a normal, peaceful life.

Throughout the letter, he also touches on practical matters, insurance payments, gifts for the kids, the possibility of shirts instead of jackets, and checks in on friends and family who haven’t written back. But the emotional center is clear: he misses his family deeply and longs for the simple joy of being together again, proud and whole.

Episode 087: 1965-05-07 | Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil Pt. 2

May 7th, 2025  |  8 mins 54 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In today’s episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes during a quiet afternoon, though the tone is edged with tension. The Viet Cong have been growing more active, and six helicopters from his platoon were damaged in a recent attack, yet thankfully, no one was hurt. Between missions and radio static, he’s listening to “Country Corner” on AFN and teasing Suzie about her clumsy bleach mishap. As always, the letter ends with love, longing, and a kiss saved just for her.

But much of today’s episode focuses on the second installment of "Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil," a deeply personal narrative outside of Vietnam, told across several episodes this month. This part of the story picks up with Jessica, a woman struggling with mental illness, addiction, and motherhood. When tragedy forces her chaotic home life into the care of extended family, we witness how well-meaning relatives like Tim and Lisa face impossible decisions during the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s a story about family, survival, and the limits of love, told with empathy, complexity, and unflinching honesty.

Episode 086: 1965-05-05 | Finding Popi’s Camera

May 5th, 2025  |  10 mins 27 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, we hear from Popi as the rainy season begins in Vinh Long. His letter is calm, full of updates from a quiet day — a trip to the range, a short note about mailing gifts, and a few thoughts on the Hong Kong R&R he’s decided not to take. The real excitement in today’s letter, though, comes when he casually mentions picking up something new for himself: a camera. It might not seem like much at first. But for this podcast, for this project, that camera is a big deal.

In today’s episode, I tell the story of how I tracked down Popi’s original camera model. What began with a grainy black-and-white photo and a dead end at the family’s digital point-and-shoot eventually turned into a multi-month search through online forums, PX catalog archives, and military issue equipment lists, all of it in pursuit of a single, tangible object: the same kind of camera Popi once held in his hands while serving in Vietnam.

Thanks to a bit of luck (and a surprisingly helpful conversation with ChatGPT), I finally identified it as a Petri 7s, a compact 35mm rangefinder camera from the early 1960s. In this episode, I break down what made the Petri 7s so popular and why it was the perfect tool for a soldier who wanted to capture moments in between missions.

Episode 085: 1965-05-04 | Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil Pt. 1

May 4th, 2025  |  8 mins 47 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, we hear from Popi on May 4, 1965, as he responds to three letters from Suzie and shares how much he loved the photos of the boys. There’s no mission report today, no combat update — just a quiet letter about family, missed birthdays, and the difficulty of shopping for gifts in a place where anything nice has to be specially made. He’s still hoping for new photos of Brett and Suzie, still counting down the months, and still trying to be a thoughtful husband and father from a world away.

But today’s episode is different.

With little to comment on in the letter, I begin the first installment of a personal essay I wrote, titled "Fish, Pharmaceuticals, & Phil." Across the quieter days this month, I’ll be sharing pieces of it — a true story about class, mental illness, intergenerational trauma, and the complicated ties that hold people together. It begins at an upscale restaurant in suburban Florida, during the birthday dinner of a woman named Mary — a second-generation American grandmother with deep family roots and a life shaped by both love and regret. Her request? That I write to Dr. Phil on behalf of her granddaughter. What follows is the beginning of that request, and the family history behind it.