Dearest Suzie

Episode 049: 1965-02-18 | Crash Landing

February 18th, 2025  |  6 mins 27 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes about what he calls “the blackest day of my life.” While practicing autorotations—a critical emergency maneuver—his helicopter crashes, leaving him shaken and questioning his future as an Instructor Pilot. Though he and his platoon leader survive, the accident weighs heavily on him, not just as a dangerous moment but as a blow to his confidence and identity as a pilot.

This letter stands apart from the rest. We’ve seen Bill write about exhaustion, stress, and even fear, but here, his words carry something deeper—self-doubt. He fears this crash may cost him his role as an instructor, and for the first time, his usual steady tone falters. His letter is brief, lacking his usual updates, as if he struggles to find the words. Most telling of all is his closing: “I love you very much and I need you especially right now.” It’s raw and vulnerable, showing just how deeply this moment affected him.

Episode 048: 1965-02-16 | The War In Print

February 16th, 2025  |  5 mins 48 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill reflects on how the war is being portrayed back home, mentioning that his unit might be featured in the Orlando Sentinel and that an upcoming awards ceremony could be covered as well. He describes how their commanding officer made “a big production” out of their orders, complete with pictures and press coverage. While Bill’s letters often reveal the strain of isolation and the monotony of life on base, the version of the war presented in newspapers was far more polished—highlighting commendations and achievements rather than the daily hardships of soldiers on the ground.

Bill also shares his growing frustration with being stuck on the compound for weeks, saying the walls are “closing in” on him. Even though town is no longer off-limits, he’s still too uneasy to go. His words capture the contrast between how the war felt to those living it and how it was packaged for those watching from home.

Accompanied by a rare glimpse into the daily life of soldiers off the battlefield, today’s featured photo shows two Vietnamese women washing clothes outside a base, with sandbags stacked behind them and shirts drying on a line above. These women, hired to do laundry for the soldiers, represent the complex and often unseen interactions between troops and local civilians. Were they just trying to make a living, or were they passing information to the Viet Cong? The war’s uncertainties stretched beyond combat, shaping even the most routine moments of daily life.

Episode 047: 1965-02-14 | A Quiet Promotion

February 14th, 2025  |  6 mins 48 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill shares news of his upcoming promotion—but his reaction is telling. He isn’t concerned with the ceremony or recognition, just the extra $40 a month and the new title of “Chief.” Like many warrant officers, he saw promotions as more of a bureaucratic formality than a milestone, focused more on the practical benefits than the prestige.

He also writes about the constant state of alert, the toll of restrictions, and the isolation of life on base. While he jokes about his growing collection of air medals, his real focus remains on home—Valentine’s cards from Suzie and the boys, gifts sent to family, and the small connections that keep him tethered to normalcy.

Episode 046: 1965-02-11 | The Trouble At Sóc Trăng

February 11th, 2025  |  6 mins 21 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill writes home about the restrictions placed on his unit, the ongoing tension of 30-minute alerts, and the attack on Sóc Trăng. His letter reflects the strain of waiting for the inevitable, the frustration of being cut off from town, and the small joys of receiving Valentine’s cards from home. He also shares news of his long-awaited promotion—one that brings more responsibility, a new title, and a modest pay raise, but little excitement.

Through his words, we get a glimpse into the daily struggles of soldiers in Vietnam—how they coped with uncertainty, leaned on routine, and found comfort in small connections to home.

Finding My Grief | Full Piece

February 10th, 2025  |  32 mins 1 sec

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this special compilation episode of Dearest Suzie, we present the full Finding My Grief series—an intimate exploration of loss, memory, and connection to my grandfather. Across these episodes, I reflect on what it means to inherit a loved one’s things, to uncover pieces of their past, and to navigate the complex emotions that come with preserving their story.

Through the things in my grandparent's trailer, we witness not just the realities of war but also the deeply personal struggles of distance, longing, and responsibility. As I piece together his experiences, I also confront my own grief—learning how history, family, and personal loss intertwine.

Episode 045: 1965-02-09 | Finding My Grief, Finale

February 9th, 2025  |  8 mins 58 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill writes home about the latest attacks in Vietnam, including a strike on Soc Trang and an outpost dangerously close to his own base. His letter reveals the growing tension among the men—watching the firefight from their helicopters, waiting for their turn to be hit. He speaks of fear, exhaustion, and frustration, but also of love—sending thoughts of home, responding to Suzie’s requests, and pushing back against the idea that they need anything more in common than their family.

This episode also concludes Finding My Grief, a deeply personal reflection on loss, memory, and coming to understand the complexities of Popi’s life. Through stories shared by Mema and the objects left behind, the journey of reckoning with grief comes full circle, offering closure and a path toward healing.

Episode 044: 1965-02-07 | Panic From Pleiku

February 7th, 2025  |  6 mins 27 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill Lowie writes home with the weight of war on his shoulders. The Viet Cong attack on Pleiku has shaken his unit, leaving them anxiously waiting for casualty reports and wondering if they’ll be next. His words—“It is hopeless”—capture the frustration and exhaustion of soldiers caught in an escalating conflict.

Accompanied by a photo of Charlie, the mischievous base mascot, today’s episode explores the impact of the Pleiku attack, the growing sense of futility among troops, and the small comforts that kept them going.

Episode 043: 1965-02-06 | Finding My Grief Pt. 6

February 6th, 2025  |  8 mins 26 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes to Suzie about financial concerns, a possible trip to Bangkok, and his efforts to send money home despite unexpected expenses. He reassures her that they are managing and reminds her not to stress about savings while they are apart. His letter, unfinished due to a missing page, leaves lingering questions about his thoughts in that moment.

Accompanied by a photo from Hawaii, today’s episode explores not only Popi’s plans but also reflections on his return from war, his struggles with vulnerability, and the impact of his service on his family.

Episode 042: 1965-02-05 | Finding My Grief Pt. 5

February 5th, 2025  |  9 mins 41 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill sends a short letter home, enclosing their income tax return and expressing how much he misses his family. Meanwhile, the next part of Finding My Grief delves into the ways Popi treated each of his sons differently—and how those differences shaped their lives.

Accompanied by a striking aerial photo of Bien Hoa after a Viet Cong attack, today’s episode explores family dynamics, resilience, and the lasting effects of parental expectations.

Episode 041: 1965-02-04 | Finding My Grief Pt. 4

February 4th, 2025  |  7 mins 37 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill Lowie writes home during a rare lull in missions due to the unofficial truce for the Vietnamese New Year. He shares updates about his instrument flight renewal, receiving his first air medal, and his anticipation of transitioning to the armed platoon. His letters reflect both exhaustion and the relentless passage of time as he counts down the days until his return home.

Accompanied by a photograph of American soldiers standing at ease in the Boulevard of the State Flags in Vinh Long—possibly an award ceremony—today’s episode also continues Finding My Grief, exploring Popi’s early years, his decision to join the Army, and Mema’s stories of their life together.

All Episodes, January 1965

February 1st, 2025  |  1 hr 11 mins

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this special episode of Dearest Suzie, we reflect on the January 1965 letters from Bill Lowie, capturing a month filled with uncertainty, hardship, and resilience. From financial struggles and missed holidays to heightened alerts and the looming threat of attacks, Bill’s words reveal the stark realities of war.

As tensions escalate , Bill navigates life on continuous standby. Amidst the stress, his letters remain filled with love—promising gifts for Suzie and the boys, finding small ways to stay connected despite the distance.

Episode 040: 1965-01-31 | Finding My Grief Pt. 3

January 31st, 2025  |  7 mins 57 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Bill writes home about receiving another letter from Suzie, buying a slide projector, and arranging for a sapphire to be sent home. He also looks ahead to a possible promotion and reflects on missing his family.

Accompanied by a photo of a figure walking through a rice paddy, today’s episode continues the Finding My Grief series, exploring family legacies, lost connections, and the echoes of past generations.

Episode 039: 1965-01-29 | A Week Under Fire

January 29th, 2025  |  7 mins 26 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, Popi writes a deeply emotional letter to Suzie on January 29, 1965, during a rare platoon party. He reflects on the challenges of the week, including the loss of a Christmas package, the camaraderie of his platoon, and the devastating realities of war. Popi recounts being under enemy fire 37 times in just seven days and shares a harrowing story of evacuating wounded civilians, including a young woman and her baby—a moment that profoundly affected him.

Accompanied by a photo of a mother and her baby at the Bangkok Zoo, today’s episode explores the toll of war on Popi's spirit and the weight of his love for his family, which made the suffering he witnessed all the more unbearable.

Episode 038: 1965-01-25 | Roast Beef Out The Ears

January 25th, 2025  |  8 mins 45 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, we explore a letter from January 25, 1965, in which Bill Lowie details his financial juggling and shares vivid, often humorous accounts of his dining experiences at the officer’s club in Vietnam. From planning thoughtful gifts for family members to navigating the costs of club dues, meals, and Christmas bills, Bill’s letter reveals the personal and logistical challenges of life overseas.

Accompanied by a photo featuring the interior of an officer’s club—complete with colorful chairs, a bar, and slot machines—today’s episode offers a glimpse into the daily realities of military life, blending the mundane with the sentimental.

Episode 037: 1965-01-23 | Finding My Grief Pt. 2

January 23rd, 2025  |  8 mins 2 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, we continue with Part 2 of Finding My Grief and hear Bill Lowie’s reflections on family, connection, and the quieter moments of war. His letter to Suzie, dated January 23, 1965, offers a glimpse into his life at the time—filled with letters from home, quiet troop lifts, and cautious optimism about upcoming R&R plans.

Accompanied by an aerial shot showing buildings on fire, today’s episode bridges the realities of war with reflections on family and loss.

Episode 036: 1965-01-22 | Finding My Grief Pt. 1

January 22nd, 2025  |  8 mins 49 secs

1960s war correspondence, army, army history, arvn, asia, aviation, aviation history, bangkok, civil war, family history podcast, grandfather’s vietnam war letters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilot war stories, huey, legacy of vietnam veterans, letters from vietnam, military, military history, military history podcast, personal vietnam war archive, pleiku, saigon, vc, veteran stories, viet cong, vietnam veteran memoirs, vietnam war, vietnam war diary, vietnam war letters, vietnam war oral history, vietnam war personal accounts, vietnam war photo archive, vinh long, war, war correspondence

In this episode of Dearest Suzie, we dive into a heartfelt exploration of grief, beginning with a letter from Bill Lowie dated January 22, 1965. Bill writes to Suzie with a heavy heart, longing for her letters and sharing the latest from Vietnam, including harrowing accounts of helicopter accidents and gunship incidents.

Accompanied by a deeply personal piece of creative nonfiction titled "Finding My Grief Part 1," this episode reflects on loss, anger, and the enduring impact of family connections. The story recounts a poignant moment in my life when grief and frustration collided, beginning to shape my understanding of love and memory.